I woke up this morning, hours before the usual time, and found myself shivering with fever and surface-body pains. I could feel the last night’s mushroom feast, stuck to my guts. Had some hot water and took a tablet to control the fever, and rolled myself inside the bed-sheet. The fluorescent bulb was on and the ceiling-fan, off.
What could’ve caused this nonsense? And I thought of my activities the previous day. Images popped in. Woke up late, usual result of late night writing sessions, had noodles, sat, had a carb-heavy meal, slept with dizziness, woke up and burned my little finger with hot oil while making omelettes, and had three of them. The omelettes, I mean. Simultaneously cooling off the burn with the ice scraped off the refrigerator ceiling, and had a special mushroom meal, careful not to get the spices over the watery bubble that appeared on the finger at the burnt site.
And of course trying to reason with fictional Paul, the idealist, who had been crying in my head all the day, shouting that it’s unfair that I took Mary’s side. How could I explain to him that I don’t give a rat’s ass about his perspective when his actions were clear as a sunny day? And that aside all the tantrums he’s throwing, he knew somewhere in his head that he in fact, had been a jerk.
So the unfriendly mix of food in the stomach, added with thoughts of crying Paul, could’ve turned it to a breeding ground for pathogens. Or could the pathogens have entered the burn, from the ice?
Now that he calmed down, though his eyes were still a bit red with all the crying, let’s look into the feverish state of mind. Do you know why thoughts rush through your head when you have a fever, and why you sense minutes as hours? That’s relativity as explained by Einstein for his non-technical fans. “You sit with a beautiful girl, and hours will fly by as minutes. You sit on a cooking pan, and seconds will be hours.”
But I have an auxiliary theory that also explains the rushing thoughts. First, the high temperature during fever is the result of your immune system fighting off the pathogens. And thoughts are electrical impulses between your brain cells. So the goal is to produce so many thoughts inside the brain, thereby electrifying the pathogens trying to conquer it, keeping your head clean. After all the brain, in all probability, has the least count of microbes in your body. Some physicians even agree that it’s completely sterile.
And relativity is also about time-dilation in the presence of quicker events. The faster you think, slower the time passes for you. That’s unfair, I know, especially when two kids of unequal strengths are taking a test. First kid is a quick thinker, added with the advantage of relativity, he finishes the test quicker, and has so much time left out to cross-check his responses. The second kid however is a slow thinker, added to that, no tweaks of physics are coming to his aid, and he’s pressed for time.
It’s almost like the rich are getting richer, and the poor, poorer. Seems like an argument in the favour of communism. But apparently, nature is against it too. Sorry Paul, I can’t help you.
– Avinash Kumar